Let the Truth Talk

Episode #1 - Sexual Violence Awareness Month

Bow Valley Harmony Project Season 1 Episode 1

The Harmony Project brings together local service providers working towards ending sexual violence in our community.  Our first season follows along with Sexual Violence Awareness Month which happens each May in Alberta.  This year our theme is “Consent through the Ages”.   The Harmony Project believes that anyone at any age can practice and teach consent in everyday life.   
 
In this episode meet your hosts Tandia & Tara and find out why they feel everyday consent is so important.  Learn about what a culture of consent looks like and what they have planned for the rest of the season. 
 
For more information on the Harmony Project check out our website www.harmonyproject.ca     Follows us on social media @ywcabanff 

The Harmony Project’s diverse stakeholders through expertise and experience are working together to end sexualized violence in the Bow Valley.  The Harmony Project is funded by the Ministry of Community and Social Services on behalf of the Government of Alberta.


If you have questions, comments or want to talk to either Tandia or Tara please email us at  
Tara@ywcabanff.ca or Tandiay@ywcabanff.ca 

For more information please check out harmonyproject.ca

Tara K  0:01   

Thanks for tuning in to our first season of let the truth talk. My name is Tara, 

  

Tandia WH  0:06   

and my name is Tandia. We are recording from Banff, Alberta, Canada. Before we get started, I would like to honor and acknowledge the traditional lands of Treaty Seven upon which Banff is located. With this land acknowledgement, we recognize that we have a responsibility to understand our history and the spirit and intent of Treaty Seven, so we can honor the past, be aware of the present, and build a future on peace, friendship and understanding. We would like to give thanks to the sacred grounds that were shared by the Stoney-Nakoda First Nations of the Chiniki, Bearspaw, and Wesley, the Blackfoot Confederacy, comprising of the Siksika, Piikani, Kainai First Nations, and the Tsuu T’ina  of the Dene people. We also give our thanks to the Metis Nation of Alberta, Region 3. 

 

Tara K  0:49   

We both work with the harmony project based out of the YWCA in Banff. The harmony project brings together local service providers working towards ending sexual violence in our community. Through our collaborative and community minded approach. Our work focuses on education, awareness, prevention, training, and support for survivors and their family and friends 

  

Tandia WH  1:14   

are first season follows along with Sexual Violence Awareness Month. This year our theme is consent through the ages. 

  

Tara K  1:21   

We believe that anyone at any age can practice and teach consent in everyday life. Follow along with us as we bring in local experts to discuss how we can create cultures of consent. Before we get started, we just wanted to give a listeners note, while we are talking about everyday consent, the topic of sex, sexual assault, and other forms of violence are brought up in our conversations. listener discretion is advised. 

  

Welcome, this is the first episode of let the truth talk. We wanted to first introduce ourselves the work of the harmony project and really why we wanted to create this podcast to connect with the community. So tandia Why don't you tell us who you are. 

  

Tandia WH  2:14   

My name is Tandia. I grew up in British Columbia. I was born on the island and then I moved with my family up to Northern BC. I then did my Bachelors of Science in psychology at University of Northern British Columbia. And that's where I started, kind of got into this work. As I graduated, I was offered a position at a resource center. First I was working with kids and then moving into working with adults. After I graduated, I then moved to Banff. I worked with kids. When I first got here, I worked at the daycare in Banff and then moved to daycare in Canmore. And then I as my interests changed, and I realized what I was interested in I came to the YWCA. I've been here for three years and haven't looked back. What about you? 

  

Tara K  3:01   

So I'm originally from Ontario and I actually went to school for kinesiology at Western in London, Ontario, after university I traveled, lived abroad for a few years, which was great and eventually settled in the bow Valley about eight years ago. And it's actually through my interest in teaching yoga that I've come to do all of this community work. So I was volunteering with bamf life teaching yoga, and from there was offered a Banff life internship and got to really know how community programs run. For the last couple years, I was running the camera young adult network, which was fantastic, because with that role, I was actually sitting on the harmony project committee board. And from there, I was hired this year, January as the harmony project coordinator. 

  

Tandia WH  4:02   

Well, we're lucky to have you. Can you tell me what that role entails? 

  

Tara K  4:07   

Yeah, so I'm really working towards the community engagement piece. So that might look like organizing bystander intervention trainings that anyone can take. In the past harmony project has been really involved getting into schools working with agencies such as right from the start. We also have had a lot of success working with kind of like HR or management teams, offering trainings for themselves as well as their staff just to ensure that their establishment is practicing consent and able to understand how to respond to and prevent sexual violence in their workplace. So yeah, my role is definitely more of the community engagement piece. What about you? 

  

Tandia WH  4:59   

So my title is sexual violence support worker, I do quite a bit of work with our clients. We have a domestic violence shelter available through the YWCA. And that's for any individual of any gender or a family fleeing domestic or sexual violence. We offer support counseling and referrals and system navigation to help anybody that's come in work through that tough time. We also do a little bit of preventative programming. So working with and educating the community on healthy relationships and consent. This has been done through one of our programs called woman's circle, we bring together different women in the community to do art, or dance or yoga, or whatever. I think that's how I met you, Tara, for the first time you came in and facilitated woman's circle, which was wonderful. I've also helped with power up, which is our education with the kids. We did one with, I think it was eight to 10, and then an preteen age group. And that was working on empathy, leadership, gender stereotypes, some of that preventative education, and we brought in different community organizations and right from the start Family Resource Network. It was really great.Right now we're gearing up to SVAM, which is an acronym. Can you tell us a little bit about what that means? 

  

Tara K  6:28   

Yeah, so we have abridged Sexual Violence Awareness Month into SVAM. It happens every year in May in Alberta. And it's practiced or observed throughout the world. Some places have different names, you might have heard of Sexual Violence Awareness Month Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Sexual Violence Prevention Month. So names, dates, things can change. However, the messaging is always the same. That this preventative work is so so important within our community and across the globe. And I think one of the most impactful projects that has come out of the harmony project has been our got consent campaign. So maybe you have seen our got consent posters, or t shirts. Last year, we had some stickers around. This has been such a great way to get our messaging out in the community. This year, as we mentioned, we are talking about consent through the ages. Tandia, do you want to explain why we came to this theme? Yeah, 

  

Tandia WH  7:45   

so as I mentioned before, I worked with kids a lot before I came here. And working with these kiddos really shaped my opinion on how consent is so important in that early and those early stages. So asking kids what they want, and explaining to them what's happening and why this creates an honest and trusting relationship with them and helps them gain insight into their own feelings and the feelings of others. These things like, Can I help you tie your shoe? Do you want cheese and crackers for snack or whatever, that it feels really easy with kids. And you can see the impact - they trust you more, and they know more of what they want. It brings the human experience back to basics. But sometimes we forget to do this as adults. But we never stopped needing consent. But sometimes you forget, Hey, can I sit this close to you? Hey, do you want cream in your coffee? But yeah, we need to get back to practicing that. Yeah, and I think all together if we start teaching these things from the very beginning, it creates a foundation for a culture of consent. starting early means we'll do it as an adult, and they'll hopefully use that their whole lives and teach to their kids one day. 

  

Tara K  9:08   

Yeah, for me, the reason why I felt that this was so important is I've just seen aspects of consent come up in different areas of my life. So it's really been brought to the forefront in the gymnastics world. Just how consent was not there, in especially in American gymnastics, we're also seeing it more stories and issues of assault or non consenting relationships come up in the yoga world, which is such a huge part of my life. So just really reevaluating how consent can be practice in areas that are not intimate relationships. something we've also noticed was just how the pandemic really made us evaluate consent in everyday life. So people were suddenly having to ask for their personal space or freely giving and respecting space. And really, the culture of respecting people's boundaries came about because of the pandemic. So we were seeing the community already shift to that practice of consent, just due to wanting to keep our community safe. I think something that's so so important is that consent is not just a box that you check, like, Yes, I've done it once. Is it good to go forever? It's something that we constantly do. We're always checking in thinking about people's preferences, making sure that they're comfortable having a good time, happy to be there, etc. Just like you said, when we ask people what they want, or what they take in their coffee, that is a practice of consent, versus I just hand you a coffee. And you're like, oh, man, well, I'm super allergic to dairy. 

  

  

Tandia WH  11:08   

  

Yeah, yeah, that's a great point, Tara. 

  

Tara K  11:13   

I also think that is a practice, if you're able to demonstrate and respect consent in everyday scenarios, so whether you're at work in the public, with your friends or family, that this skill becomes ingrained. So when you're in an intimate setting, the skill of consent isn't something new or awkward, it's just something that is so natural. And that's really what we want to dial into, that consent can be practiced at any age, every day. So we talked a couple times about culture of consent Tandia, what does a culture of consent mean to you? 

  

Tandia WH  11:54   

In an overview, it's where we understand and respect one another's enter own boundaries and experiences. So it places value on everyone as an individual, what you like might be different from what I like, and I have to respect that, and I'm not offended by you saying no, or maybe later, or however it is. So that comes to our boundaries, or morals or wants or needs. And that no one person is valued above another. Something that I realize I've always really struggled with is when people bring treats to work. I don't like sweets very much. And I've always accepted them. Because I don't want to be offensive, right? Like, it's nice that they do that. But I've tried to get into the practice of saying, Oh, I really, like thank you for the gesture, but I don't want one. And I think people are starting to be more understanding of that. And it's cool to see, but it's just those little interactions. And so it's those daily interactions. It's so much more than consent to the bedroom. It's talking about how you like your sweets, financial decisions with your partner, making sure they're informed and interested in buying that new car, that new house, or checking in with your friend before you borrow their shirt. 

  

Tara K  13:12   

Yeah, exactly. For me, a culture of consent is really a place where people are able to recognize and respect that no, is a full sentence. I think something that has happened so often is we say no, and then need or feel that we need to validate or no saying like, no, because I'm so so tired, but blah, blah, blah, we'll do it again another time, or no, and then make up all of these excuses. Because we want to seem polite or friendly. Or maybe because it's a power dynamic between you and your boss or whatever. So I think that learning that no, full stop, and then the person who's received the know, yeah, you can feel whatever comes up with that, but be able to accept it without needing that validation. I think another huge aspect of a culture of consent is having a community where people are aware of how to set and enforce their personal boundaries. And just the knowledge that everyone's personal boundaries will be different. We've seen in the pandemic, some people are super open and wanting to hug each other. And other people are very strict and not wanting that close personal contact. And so it's just recognizing that boundaries are different for each person. Same as preferences, same as habits, what everyone enjoys. I think within a culture of consent, the topic would come up daily. So not not necessarily like today we're going to talk about consent. But it's just kind of that communication that is constantly flowing so that when it a bigger issue of consent comes up or a bigger topic of consent comes up is not this huge, like, whoa, oh my god, we've never set boundaries. I've never had to enforce my boundaries before. It's something that is so so natural. 

  

Tandia WH  15:24   

Yeah, that comfort with saying no and accepting No. And when you start small, with your coffee, you don't you don't want or whatever, it gets easier to have those conversations when it really matters, whether it's those big decisions or, or in the bedroom. And, yeah, I think it's great practice in everyday life. 

  

Tara K  15:46   

I remember 

  

at an acrobatic festival, we were going through practices of consent. And there is so much hugging and touching and playful practice in acrobatics. And the exercise was to walk around the room and you would say, Can I have a hug? And the person would say no. And even though we were prepared, we knew what was happening. Receiving no was uncomfortable, because it was happening from our friends that we had been hugging all weekend long. And it was just the ability to sit with it to accept the know, and move on. And I thought that was it's something that stuck with me that's so so valuable, because it's not often that we're kind of like brought to a practice where we're doing that actively. So I think it's something that maybe we could when we're back together, do a little practices like that. So it's not such a new skill. 

  

Tandia WH  16:47   

What a great exercise. It takes it takes you out the ”No” and know its not personal. It's just that person doesn't want to hug today. And that's okay. Yeah. Tara, so throughout this month, SVAM, Sexual Violence Awareness Month, what are you hoping to achieve? 

  

Tara K  17:07   

Definitely community awareness, and also their input? How do you practice everyday consent? What does Everyday Consent look like for you? If you have kids? How are you engaging in this topic of consent? Because as we're going to find out next week, there is no wrong age to start this practice of consent? It doesn't have to be that, because I'm talking to my kids about consent. I'm talking about sex straight away. 

  

No, we're gonna learn that. 

  

I think having these everyday conversations about consent, a huge goal of ours. So this podcast, a new way to engage our community members, as well as a community bingo, can you tell us about that? Oh, yeah. 

  

Tandia WH  18:00   

So this, because we can't be together, we're not going to have any community events throughout the month of SVAM in person. So one of the ways we wanted to engage people, is we came up with this bingo card of different ways you can practice consent, in everyday life, with your friends, with your co workers with whoever. And so throughout the month, we're gonna encourage community members to practice these ways of everyday consent and check them off, send us a picture or what the person said in response to your question. And when you get a line or next, we've got some swag that we would love to give out. So yeah, yeah, I'm excited. 

  

Tara K  18:41   

And if you follow along on our social media channels, you'll start to see people holding up little placards with their message of everyday consent. And if you feel that you want to participate, by all means, send in your message of consent, we would love to see it. 

  

Tandia WH  19:00   

Yeah. And if there's things that you want to hear about, or things you're interested in a story you want to tell, let us know to we, the point of the part of the point of this is to engage the community, and hear what you think what you want. And with that, Tara, how did you practice consent today? 

  

Tara K  19:20   

Today, I, oh, I went to a yoga class. And I ensured that the person behind me had enough personal space. 

  

Tandia WH  19:32   

Oh, well done. Well, then, I this is a practice I'm really trying to get into is, whenever I go into a co workers office, I asked them, hey, do you have a minute before I chat with them? Because I know it's really hard for me to be fully engaged when I'm in the middle of writing an email or I'm in the middle of finishing a report or I'm about to call a client and someone walks in and just starts telling me their question. I'm happy to happy to help. But just acknowledging that there's other things going on. So, yeah, I've been I've been doing that a lot in the workplace lately. 

  

Tara K  20:08   

Yeah, that's a great one. Thank you. Alright, well next week we are speaking with Megan from right from the start, so stay tuned as we discussed consent in children and youth. Thank you for listening to let the truth talk. 

  

Tandia WH  20:29   

For more information on the harmony project support services, links to other resources or to check out the show transcript please visit harmony project.ca. 

  

Tara K  20:39   

Our Intro Music is by Scott Holmes. 

  

Tandia WH  20:41   

And of course this whole production was made possible by the support from the harmony project committee and the marketing team at the YWCA band. 

  

Tara K  20:49   

Please be sure to subscribe and like our show to be notified when future episodes are released. 

  

Tandia WH  20:55   

creating a culture of consent starts with each and every one of us. Let us know how you're taking part. We'll talk to you next week. 

  

Transcribed by https://otter.ai